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Thursday, July 13th, 2006

Subject:Not completely lost
Time:10:29 am.
Hey all - I have not falled off the face of the earth just yet.

I am mostly at my new digs on the interweb.... Divinely Crafty. Famiy adventure updates at Beneath Our Feet.

Been working hard at life. Nearing our year anniversary. Holy shit what a year its been. And something tells me that the whole damn thing is just beginning.

Heard a song the other day that made me blubber like a baby. The Waifs - In London Still

The line that really gets the waterworks flowing is this:

Today I dream of home and not of London anymore.


...oh god, someone pass me a tissue....
Comments: Read 3 orAdd Your Own.

Saturday, April 8th, 2006

Time:3:58 pm.
I love this. Love it.

Your Mama.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Subject:Breaking News or Old News?
Time:2:45 pm.
It seems like I only ever have time to post that I am too busy to post. I am too busy. Way too fucking busy.

So guess what - the universe stepped in and gave me this thing. This bizarre thing. Called labyrinthitis. http://www.labyrinthitis.org.uk/index.htm I am on my second episode (the first one never clearing up 100%) in 6 weeks. It is bizarre bizarre bizarre.

And it comes at such a strange time. My article was just published, my classes are taking off and I am starting to take on doula clients. I have also been working full time at the bookstore, which I love, but it is not my life's work. kwim? I haven't been able to work for a week now since I got the latest dizzy episode. I am still insanely dizzy today. It is the weirdest shit I am telling you.

So the doctor says "take it easy". And I say, "ummm, yeah, I will get right on that..." Take it easy? Not one of my strong suits lets just say. If I can do one thing, I figure I can do something else too, right? At times I really do believe that our ability is limited only by our dream.

And then this dizzy shit comes along and knocks my superwoman routine on its ass.

I am quitting the bookstore. I need to have all my energy and health for me and my family. For my life. The bookstore is fun. I enjoy it, but at the end of the day I am exhausted. It is time for me to face it that I am not the young thang I once was. Far from old, but not twentysomething. This will be my last year as thritysomething. Rest, relaxation, and renewal are important all during ones life. Something I am only beginning to understand. Without guilt. My full energy can go to being mom, doula, childbirth mentor, artist. We are at a place where I am able to go forward with my part of the big adventure. Facing huge unknown, putting my full intention into living as I am compelled to. Trusting like I have never trusted before. Hoping that the world stops spinning (literally) and I am coping with how it spinning right now. Nothing like living a metaphor.

Reading some mind blowing books right now... Blue Truth by David Deida (a.m.a.z.i.n.g. book), The Tao of Mentoring by some guys whose name I will butcher if I try to spell by memory, Sacred Contracts by Caroline Myss, My Voice Will Go With You by Milton Erickson and Sydney Rosen. Close To The Bone by Jean Shinoda Bolen. Reading, reading, reading.

Been knitting a bit and got some sewing done yesterday. Knitting is actually, of all crazy things, therapeutic for my labyrinthitis. I think it puts me in a trance.

I made this scarf...

It is 4ply wool sock yarn lace and a chunky hand spun, hand dyed contrast.  It knit up so fast - less than 2 hours.



Here I am on the train home from London earlier this week wearing the hat I made to go with the scarf.  I am all rock starred out in my shades at night because they keep the visual stimulation (and the swirl) at a minimum.  That and I am just cool.





And this one is a joke.  Dylan and her friend from Not Back To School Camp in Oregon is visiting so we went to do the touristy bits in London.  We had a riot pointing out all the varieties of  "emo" people we saw.  We started giving them names...JapanEmo, HanibalEmo, ElderEmo, and

MomEmo!


Joke people.  Joke. 
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Saturday, March 18th, 2006

Subject:Its lame but its all I got.
Time:6:00 pm.
Been MIA. Been really busy. What more can I say?

My job at the bookstore is in full swing and keeps me very busy. The kids all have their stuff which at the very least requires my money and most often my time as well. Nothing unusual about that, but ultimately very time consuming. A side effect of working in a bookstore is also feeding my book habit. In a big way. We can borrow any book we want. We can order in any book from any publisher that distributes to the UK. Of course there are books that don't have UK distribution yet so can only be import. That is what the friend of Dylan's who is visting in a couple weeks is for. Bringing my free shipping Amazon order with her! :p

I have been doing more work with my birth classes and really going full power. I have made some great contacts and am on the verge of something exciting. I can feel it. I am excited and scared shitless at the same time.

Haven't had time to update my blog even. Maybe tonight, but I am planning a reading embargo for this evening and planning knit and watch Six Feet Under episodes, or maybe get real indulgent and buy itunes American TV shows. God Bless technology and US Bank Accounts that get us around media restrictions.
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Friday, February 17th, 2006

Subject:Can. not. resist.
Time:9:01 am.
willpower fading. sucked into the crowd.
http://kevan.org/johari?name=lakshmimama
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Monday, January 30th, 2006

Time:9:58 am.
Mood: tired.
Lazy Link.


In the new place... loving it. Working hard and too tired to post twice.
Comments: Read 2 orAdd Your Own.

Saturday, December 31st, 2005

Subject:Our little bitty flat
Time:10:21 am.
Since we are getting ready to move in a couple weeks (into a HOUSE!) I am able to finally look at pictures of our flat and not feel trapped and panicky.

The pictures in the link are literally the entire flat. Think about this: 5 people, 2 of whom are teenagers (ugh!) and one of whom is a wild thing 4 year old. The other 2 being mom and dad trying to maintain sanity and peace. All living in LESS THAN 600 Sq Ft.

I am so glad to have moving to look forward to.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/beneathourfeet/sets/1691927/
Comments: Read 4 orAdd Your Own.

Wednesday, December 7th, 2005

Subject:I could get used to this.
Time:9:09 pm.
Mood: drunk.
Tonight was our big Christmas Shopping Night at work. Here in our humble village (and really in most towns here) the shops close at 5:00pm most nights, so for the big holiday shopping extravaganza we stayied open until........ 8:00pm.......*gasp*! We lured the customers in with offers of a whopping 15% off regular priced merchandise (rotflmao!) and Christmassy Refreshments (yes, that is the official wording) which consisted of mince pies, nuts, and wine. Loads of wine. And it was not just the customers who were getting their holiday cheer on either. By the end of the evening we were having to concentrate real hard on hitting the right keys on the till. Yes, I could really get used to this place!

I can hardly wait until the big Christmas Meal where the company buys us all a big ol' feast at a local pub. They really know how to do it right here!
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Tuesday, November 8th, 2005

Subject:Geez, where did I go...
Time:10:33 pm.
I guess I have been taking an unofficial break from the interweb. I didn't really mean to, but it just sorta worked out that way.

I spent a couple weeks working for a company over near Gatwick, which while it is just 13 miles away from here takes fucking forever to get to on the bus. The busses here in the small towns and villages suck ass in a big way. Someone forgot to explain scheduling 101 to these guys. It was the leave early/get home late scenario that sends me into sheer panic mode. It is one thing to be a working parent, but an entirely different thing to only ever see your children or spouse when you are exhausted, rushed, or stressed or some combination of these. Usually them all together. The work itself was just, eh. A/R A/P crap that I could do standing on my head. My well kept secret is that for being a creative type, I am actually a kick-arse bean counter. Who woulda thunk it. But I hate working the grind, especially for a business that is just any ol' company XYZ. I like to have some sort of interest in the business I work for. Call me crazy, but job satisfaction is important to me.

The commuting and working and resulting stress really cut into my time wasting online. The nerve of it. But thankfully that job is over (it was a temp thing) and I have started a new job that I am really happy at. It is a seasonal (with fingers crossed for it turning permanent) job in a bookstore. Yes, it is retail. But it is books!!! Books books books! Books are like crack for me. I just can't get enough no matter what. And it is literally a 3 minute walk from my front door. Which means that I am able to come home on my lunch hour and sit in a quiet house (which is NEVER is at any other time) and eat, relax, do a bit of laundry (which I am STILL tryng to catch up on after my time at the other job) and whatever else strikes my fancy. I love it. I get home in time to make dinner at a decent hour (dinner when I was commuting was so late that Anja fell asleep most nights before I got it on the table. poor thing.) and have time to relax and take care of things before bedtime.

So at least for the Christmas season I can feel more at ease with this working parent thing. I can't for the life of me remember how I did it as a single parent with D & K. I will remember soon enough though when Axel leaves for 5 months starting in June. But that is a freak out for another day.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Monday, October 17th, 2005

Subject:For my girlz
Time:12:53 pm.
Mood: scared.
My new icon - for my girlz. You know who you are.

Comments: Read 5 orAdd Your Own.

Subject:I done been Reintarnated!
Time:12:34 pm.
Mood: amused.
The Mensa Invitational once again asked members to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.


Here are this year's {2005} winners:


1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly

3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

4. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

5. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

6. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

7. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

8. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

9. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

And the pick of the literature:

18. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
Comments: Read 2 orAdd Your Own.

Tuesday, September 27th, 2005

Subject:One of the best time sucks I have seen in a long time
Time:8:25 pm.
Mood: amused.
Just keep hitting reload. See the last 40 pictures posted on LJ. There are some crazy motherfuckers out there.

http://www.fuzzysquid.com/LJ.php


and if you are really bored, click on the picture and it will take you to the journal.
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Monday, September 19th, 2005

Subject:Milestones
Time:9:20 am.
Mood: melancholy.
My baby girl started school today. She couldn't have been more excited, I couldn't have been more sad. I am not one to cry over things like this, but OMG the waterworks were in full working order this morning as she happily took her teachers hand and marched into her classroom. I asked her if she wanted me to come in with her and help her hang her coat up and stuff and she cheerfully declined. "No thanks, mama. I can do it myself." Cue the tears...pass the tissue. She didn't even look back to wave good-bye. ::sniff:: ::blubber::

Kiah took some pictures of her trying on her uniform this weekend. (which she did about 100 times in 3 days!) Nevermind the messy backdrop - Kiah hasn't learned the fine art of moving the crap out of the frame before you take the picture.

Look at my baby!!! You think she might be a *tad bit* excited about school! oh man.... I am crying again. :(

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
Comments: Read 5 orAdd Your Own.

Sunday, September 11th, 2005

Subject:Help me choose
Time:8:21 pm.
When we signed up for our internet access, one of the bonus perks of the plan we chose was 40 free songs on itunes.

If you could get 40 songs free, what would you list among your **must haves**?
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Wednesday, September 7th, 2005

Subject:RIP Lil' Buddy
Time:12:32 pm.
Mood: silly.
I read that Bob Denver (aka. Gilligan) died. You know, he was a great guy. After he stopped acting he lived a very simple life. No phone, no lights, no moter car. Reports state that the cause of death is unknown, but initial autopsy findings show signs of beating about the head and shoulders with a cap-like object.

RIP Lil' Buddy.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Wednesday, August 31st, 2005

Subject:wow
Time:8:39 pm.
Mood: surprised.
correction: my lawyer received a check for August and September payments today. I am stunned. Thrilled, but stunned.

My ex is still a fucker, but at least he is making some effort to live up to the agreement. It really is the best thing for everyone involved.
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Monday, August 29th, 2005

Subject:No big surprise
Time:11:59 pm.
Mood: blank.
Well that was fast.

You may recall that back before we moved I had some dealings with my ex-h. What started as me simply needing to contact him (after locating him for the first time in 7 years) so I could ammend our divorce to specify that I was allowed to move overseas with D & K. That seemingly simple task turned into a big ol' drama with him refusing to cooperate at first and then him agreeing to do so if I agreed to write off a large portion of his enormous child support arrearage. After much consultation with my lawyer, I agreed to write of some (not all) of the debt in exchange for his cooperation on the divorce amendment, as well as half of the estimated legal fees, and cooperation with the proceedings for a step parent adoption of D&K by Axel that would take place after he satisfied a payment arrangement of the remaining balance of his debt. In short - he simply had to make a series of regular payments and he would be out from under a significant amount of back support, in addition to being off the hook for any future support. If he defaulted on the agreement, no support would be written off and his legal fees would not be refunded. Not a bad deal for someone who has always, since day one, reduced the existence of his offspring to a matter of "how much of HIS money they were taking from him."

His first payment of the agreement was due August 1. Nothing. He has a 30 day grace period to cure default. It is now August 29 (well, it is over there - here it is the 30th already) and I just get an email from my lawyer. He says that the certified mail he sent to notify of his default on the agreement and his 30 days to fix it has been returned unclaimed. He has tried to email him but it is bouncing back, which means most likely that he has closed his account. He has once again pulled a disappearing act. His 30 days is just about up and his second payment is due in 3 days. What do you think the chances are that I will see any of it?

He sure didn't waste any time making any effort to appear that he was trying to live up to the agreement. One has to wonder why on earth he entered into the agreement in the first place if he didn't intend on making good on it. I mean, he blew the one chance he had to get out from the child support he has refused to voluntarily pay for years. What an idiot. He still owes me major $$$ now and that amount will continue to stack up. I am out nothing. Sure, I don't have his payment, but that is pretty much par for the course. He still owes me and he will until hell freezes over at this rate. No problem. I really could care less. For him its about the money. For me its about the kids. I clearly have the better end of the deal.

Oh - but this is the guy who tells his friends how much he loves his kids... Fucking loser.
Comments: Read 3 orAdd Your Own.

Subject:Because I am a geek
Time:6:41 pm.
Mood: accomplished.
I am clearly addicted to making sites on the internets. I can find any excuse to register a new domain and hang out my shingle.
My lastest is that because I am living in the UK, that I should have a UK website with the .co.uk domain name. So I have me a new site. Basically my 'old' US site info put on a new site. Nothing fancy and made with a generic site template so it isn't sporting any of my own nifty graphics. That will come later after I get my real computer connected instead of this sad little laptop.

You can take a peek here: http://www.goldenflowerbirth.co.uk

Of course there is a story behind the name "Golden Flower Birth". It comes from a Buddhist tale that fits very nicely with mentoring (as opposed to teaching) parents about childbirth. Loosely told, it tells of when the Buddha was given a golden flower and asked to share his teachings with those present. The Buddha held the flower out and gazed at it peacefully, said nothing, and simply smiled. Thats it. In true Zen spirit - very simple, but very significant.

So there ya have it - my newest website. I promise not to make another one for a few months at least. ;)
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Thursday, August 25th, 2005

Subject:The greasier the better
Time:11:34 pm.
My new icon



Yum.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Tuesday, August 23rd, 2005

Subject:Rockin' in the UK!!!
Time:9:10 pm.
Mood: giddy.
I'm Going!!!!!!!!!!!!

My birthday brought some unexpected sweet moola with which I was directed to splurge. So splurge I am.
We booked a hotel for the family in London next Tuesday night. The kids will be treated to a night of telly (we are tv free at home) and Axel and I are going to see IGGY AND THE STOOGES!

http://www.atpfestival.com/events/line_up.php?event=18&view=482

A fitting tribute if you ask me, as The Stooges (the band, not the members) were born in Ann Arbor, Michigan in 1967 and so was I. Heh heh.


I am so excited I am about ready to pee my pants. But I won't. But I could.
Comments: Add Your Own.

LiveJournal for LakshmiMama.

View:User Info.
View:Friends.
View:Calendar.
View:Website (Childbirth Preparation and Birth Art Exploration).
View:Memories.
You're looking at the latest 20 entries. Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 20 entries.